On this day we walked to St. Columbus Bay and stood among the cairns reveling in the sea and rock. The wind was slight and the place was void of all but Jill and I. It made for quite the scene in which one could contemplate the world around them and that is exactly what we did. It also brought up decades old issues and resolutions that I had patiently worked through because I had the love of a fantastic partner in life.
When we returned to the B&B we both laid down for a brief nap. It was during this time images and scenes of my past crept into my mind reminding me of the darker place I had came from. I was not always so positive or hopeful like I am today; instead I was filled with anger, hate and discourse. I was lost in a world I thought would rather loose me, instead, as I later realized, it was always welcoming and waiting.
This revelation would not come to me at my younger years; instead it tempered me with lessons disguised in horrid experiences that would later reveal their truths through talking to a gentleman by the name of Gabriel Quincy Collymore. Sometimes one must walk in the darkness in order to gain the strength to prevent such madness to happen again.
It is not something I am proud of but in my days away from home I wandered the streets of Colorado Springs not knowing where I would end up. I saw some pretty horrible stuff, including an old man who was beaten by a group of teens simply because he walked on their “side” of the road. I idly sat by as this happened and did nothing, feeling the guilt of this action for decades, but I silently swore to God I would never do that again.
Years later I would be doing a midnight shift at a Circle K on Austin Bluffs Parkway and Oro Blanco when a group of teens attacked a customer. A friend had stopped by and as I ran past I told him not to let anyone leave. I opened the doors in time to witness this mob stomping on the customers head and drew my arm back as I charged the crowd. At that instant a county sheriff saw the group and pulled into the lot, but it was too late as the damage was done and the man lay in his own pool of blood.
They had to call the fire department to spray down the wall of all the blood and I myself who had helped the man up to keep him from drowning in his own blood had to wash my arms in bleach to prevent any sort of blood contamination. Even more years later while working at a Texaco I witnessed a man who had pulled in to get gas punch his wife in the face. I turned to my co-worker during the early morning shift and told him to call the police while I grabbed a mop and snapped off the fabric to make a club.
In the end she went inside as I held the man at bay and the cops arrived. I pressed charges but would later find out that she had dropped them and all was back to normal for the two. These senseless acts creep into my mind periodically to remind me of how life is so precious.
I lost my job at Circle K because I would not testify on behalf of the company; instead I stood with the poor man who could have been safe had my manager replaced the exterior lights weeks earlier. I lost my job at Texaco because I refused to drop the charges against the man who beat his wife and I began to develop an anger towards corporations who would rather sell out people than admit to things they could have done to better protect them and our environment.
I was angry at the world around me for not being able to recognize I could be an asset but created obstacles I had no idea how to overcome. I was angry at my family for failing to realize I did not even have a clue as to how to proceed in life with what I was born with. I was angry at the military for sending me home without ever trying me as a soldier simply because I had only one trigger finger, but what I did not realize is that the universe had different plans for me then, I just did not understand what they were.
It is incredible the kinds of people you meet along journeys around the world. Spiritual, kind and angelic beings who at the right time step into your life to reinforce the path one takes.
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